Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
