i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
