paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
