its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
