please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize