Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you will always have a special place in my vag
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Randomize
