I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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