Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
