I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How's work?
Spinning.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
