Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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