I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
