Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
