I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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