I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
