if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
