if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
