I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
