so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
