I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
