judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize