I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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