I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
