ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
