I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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