This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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