Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
