WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
