giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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