I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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