Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
