Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
