she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
