His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
