I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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