This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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