He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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