idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
