What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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