I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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