I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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