at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
