just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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