my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize