they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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