i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
