Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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