I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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