You can't motorboat a personality
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
