Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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