remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
