When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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