Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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