just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize