Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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