so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize