please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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