Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it's like iHOP with fire
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
