I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
