You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
