Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
