it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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