Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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