I can't watch pbs sober anymore
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
