did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize