Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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