FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Couch. On fire.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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