Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
