god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
